Monday, March 9, 2015

The Strut of Success



This post is in connection to GG Renee’s #30Layers30Days series of self discovery. If you like to follow along for some serious soul reconnecting and self realization make sure and head to her site at AllTheManyLayers.com for more info. In the meantime I'll be sharing me journey here.


Day 4...

She had long blond hair up in a polished ponytail. Not a hair out of place. I saw her glide out of her shiny black Mercedes with white leather interior. She was fit and had curves in all the right places. Worked the hell out of a pencil skirt suit too. As she strutted into the building with her black leather briefcase she looked like the perfect picture of wealth, confidence, and style. Something that, as a 22 year old at the time, seemed so unattainable to someone like me. I took that mental Polaroid of success and for the next several years I chased that image.
I tried to look as fit and beautiful and put together as she did. Minus the Mercedes with white leather interior. I figured since I couldn't own that life I could at least look the part. Pretty the outside to mask the sad inside. I tried chasing money but the more I made the more I spent. I always had a number and it was always too far from where I was. I thought maybe it was in school. I figured getting an education is what I lacked. Not understanding that I lacked self love. So I pursued education believing that was where success WAS. Until I worked with lawyers that also had degrees in science and realized no matter how smart or rich you can still be real fucked up.
The image of success  in money or a degree soon began to fade away. It left and empty feeling inside as I  wondered what real success even looked like.


That was until I reminded myself of people I admired growing up. When I was a mess and felt lost, they, seemed happy and found. I knew couples who’d been happily married 10, 20, 40 years. Ah I thought its in finding the right guy. Getting into all the wrong relationships axed that notion. Not realizing that these amazing women just happen to attract amazing men. Women that put in work to realize their own success and IT had nothing to do with money, looks, education or status. They all came from different upbringing and backgrounds.
They, however, did have something in common. They knew who the were, what they stood for, and best of all where they were going. They valued their great relationships, with their partners, with their children, and with their friends. Most of all they valued the relationship they developed through the years with themselves. Their self-love and self acceptance was derived from their own existence and not the external. They were their own well for success. It was through observing them and a lot of self reflection I realized that success means different thing to different people. At any given time really. Success can be as big as reaching your personal and professional goals. It can mean getting to spend some quality time with loved ones or even as small as sharing a soulful conversation with a stranger. Moments that nourishes the soul. Success is not a thing, its a feeling. And you can succeed today as quickly as you’ll feel like you've failed.

My success began the split second I decided to think different. When I realized I was less of a victim to the circumstance in my life and more of a creator. The moment I took steps to start loving and caring for myself from the inside out. You’ll be amazed at the ripple effect it creates.

No comments:

Post a Comment